Poo play enthusiast spotted at Danish rock festival. Scandinavians seriously grossed out.
The pooman has been sighted at numerous rock festivals around Sweden and Denmark. During the late 80s and early 90s he was referred to as "Hydro sperm". Although there is thought to be more than one poo man, the most notable and consistently spotted has long dreadlocks and has been seen diving into toilets, wearing a blue overall.
Clara Ostman tells me that she met this poo man, "First time was in 1992. Me and my friend shared a train carriage with him and his very good looking girlfriend from Kobenhavn to Roskilde. He seemed to be a very intelligent and friendly person with lots of humour. When I later saw him at the festival area he was running around smeared in poo and a toilet ring around his head screaming "I am a toilet!"."
One unwitting festival-goer had an aggressive encounter with the poo man. A guy I personally wouldn't want to mess with. Or on. "We saw someone who claimed to be the poo man at Hultsfredsfestivalen in 1996. He walked up to our neighbours' tent and asked them for some spirits and threatened to come back and poo in their tent if not given anything. They told him they didn't have any spirits but had some alcohol used for their gas stove, which the poo man took a sip of and then left".
Johan Nelesburg, a 20 year old student from Stockholm spotted the dreadlocked poo man this year at Roskilde in Denmark, "he was underneath the toilets sticking his head up and encouraging people to poo on him. When the poo pumping truck came he got out through the toilet lid and ran away. He wasn't aggressive with anyone but he was encouraging the girls to crap on him. Noone could believe it and so whilst lots of people were interested in the guy inside the toilet, noone would use it. He sounded very happy though, like he had been waiting." OK so the guy isn't aggro but there has to be an easier way for a white guy to maintain dreadlocks.
The technical term for such an affinity with turd is coprophilia. Described as an "abnormal, often obsessive interest in excrement, especially the use of faeces for sexual excitement", it can also be known as scat play, japscat, poo play or the somewhat more sinister sounding fecalphilia. The German word for scat fetishism is Kaviar.
Formal definitions make this stuff sound normal. But we're talking about poo here. Whilst playing and even eating your own poo (known as coprophagia) is relatively safe, playing with someone elses is extremely dangerous. Risks include hepatitis A, B, C and parasitic infections such as giardiasis, cryptosporidiosis, campylobacter, and other very sinister sounding stuff. With this kind of danger involved, I think we can safely call scat an extreme sport unless played alone, and where's the fun in that?
This kind of behaviour would make most of us sick, and for good reason. Even seasoned scat enthusiasts say they vomit the first time they tasted shit, and they're into it. A variety of different explanations have been given for this. Darwin wrote in the 1870s that our disgust reaction to poo was not a simple instinctive response but was a value judgement. However, Freud thought we internalised our parents attitudes towards poo, rather than making up our own minds about it.
So do we choose to hate poo? Dr Mary Phillips conducted brain research, using MRI brain scans to analyse the parts of the brain active when the subject was disgusted. She found that the part of brain which was active during this disgusted response was millions of years older (in evolutionary terms) than even the oldest known civilisations.
So it is natural to be disgusted by something which comes from our body? And something which, at an earlier stage, passes through our mouths, as food? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is a condition in which nearly the whole world disgusts the sufferer. Items (or body parts) must be washed rigorously for fear of dirt. Other symptoms of OCD can include turning light switches on and off a ritualistically and tidying up a lot. Pork disgusts jews, not because there is anything inherently disgusting about a pig, but their teachings and upbringing educate their response.
Anyway, we live in a society obsessed with poo right? Whilst celebrities line up to appear on 'colonic irrigation island', nutritionist Gillian McKeith from Channel 4's hit show 'You Are What You Eat' believes that stool samples (that's poo to you and me) is the key to understanding our health, like Kim & Aggie for your anus. Greasy ones that won't flush show a liver imbalance, Sticky ones mean you have too much dampness in your body, rabbit droppings means your liver is congested, whilst thin, shreddy stools mean your colon is "screaming for help".
Cheap spicy foods available at festivals tend to resemble what you see get sucked out of the portaloos by the big vaccuum lorries afterwards. What you are left with is a pit of sloppy, ring-stinging oily poo and thick dark wee. I know from my own experience
that at festivals my stool is transformed from a well formed, obviously bran influenced log to a splattering of oily sludge which would probably stick to the bowl if I stuck around long enough to find out. A mix of liver imbalance and dampness I now know. Nothing to do with the torrent of drink and drug abuse. As anyone who has been to a commercial rock festival will know, the toilets provide probably the worst cocktail of bodily discharge available anywhere.
So, before you go booking any tickets for Scandinavian rock festivals for next summer, consider the possibility of encountering a man who cares little for preventative health measures and social norms, a man who shuns traditional rock concert entertainment, preferring to get stuck into the remnants of the previous day, a man who wants your poo. Watchout.
Roskilde festival in Denmark this summer saw the return of the 'pooman'. A grown man willing to play with not just poo, but the worst kind of poo there is : festival poo. I heard a first hand account of him swimming in the cess pit below the toilets at the festival, encouraging the 79 thousand strong population of the festival poo on him. He's got to be an EU citizen so there's nothing to stop him bringing his poo-ey posterior onto British soil for next year's festival season, we clearly need to know more.
The pooman has been sighted at numerous rock festivals around Sweden and Denmark. During the late 80s and early 90s he was referred to as "Hydro sperm". Although there is thought to be more than one poo man, the most notable and consistently spotted has long dreadlocks and has been seen diving into toilets, wearing a blue overall.
Clara Ostman tells me that she met this poo man, "First time was in 1992. Me and my friend shared a train carriage with him and his very good looking girlfriend from Kobenhavn to Roskilde. He seemed to be a very intelligent and friendly person with lots of humour. When I later saw him at the festival area he was running around smeared in poo and a toilet ring around his head screaming "I am a toilet!"."
One unwitting festival-goer had an aggressive encounter with the poo man. A guy I personally wouldn't want to mess with. Or on. "We saw someone who claimed to be the poo man at Hultsfredsfestivalen in 1996. He walked up to our neighbours' tent and asked them for some spirits and threatened to come back and poo in their tent if not given anything. They told him they didn't have any spirits but had some alcohol used for their gas stove, which the poo man took a sip of and then left".
Johan Nelesburg, a 20 year old student from Stockholm spotted the dreadlocked poo man this year at Roskilde in Denmark, "he was underneath the toilets sticking his head up and encouraging people to poo on him. When the poo pumping truck came he got out through the toilet lid and ran away. He wasn't aggressive with anyone but he was encouraging the girls to crap on him. Noone could believe it and so whilst lots of people were interested in the guy inside the toilet, noone would use it. He sounded very happy though, like he had been waiting." OK so the guy isn't aggro but there has to be an easier way for a white guy to maintain dreadlocks.
The technical term for such an affinity with turd is coprophilia. Described as an "abnormal, often obsessive interest in excrement, especially the use of faeces for sexual excitement", it can also be known as scat play, japscat, poo play or the somewhat more sinister sounding fecalphilia. The German word for scat fetishism is Kaviar.
Formal definitions make this stuff sound normal. But we're talking about poo here. Whilst playing and even eating your own poo (known as coprophagia) is relatively safe, playing with someone elses is extremely dangerous. Risks include hepatitis A, B, C and parasitic infections such as giardiasis, cryptosporidiosis, campylobacter, and other very sinister sounding stuff. With this kind of danger involved, I think we can safely call scat an extreme sport unless played alone, and where's the fun in that?
This kind of behaviour would make most of us sick, and for good reason. Even seasoned scat enthusiasts say they vomit the first time they tasted shit, and they're into it. A variety of different explanations have been given for this. Darwin wrote in the 1870s that our disgust reaction to poo was not a simple instinctive response but was a value judgement. However, Freud thought we internalised our parents attitudes towards poo, rather than making up our own minds about it.
So do we choose to hate poo? Dr Mary Phillips conducted brain research, using MRI brain scans to analyse the parts of the brain active when the subject was disgusted. She found that the part of brain which was active during this disgusted response was millions of years older (in evolutionary terms) than even the oldest known civilisations.
So it is natural to be disgusted by something which comes from our body? And something which, at an earlier stage, passes through our mouths, as food? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is a condition in which nearly the whole world disgusts the sufferer. Items (or body parts) must be washed rigorously for fear of dirt. Other symptoms of OCD can include turning light switches on and off a ritualistically and tidying up a lot. Pork disgusts jews, not because there is anything inherently disgusting about a pig, but their teachings and upbringing educate their response.
Anyway, we live in a society obsessed with poo right? Whilst celebrities line up to appear on 'colonic irrigation island', nutritionist Gillian McKeith from Channel 4's hit show 'You Are What You Eat' believes that stool samples (that's poo to you and me) is the key to understanding our health, like Kim & Aggie for your anus. Greasy ones that won't flush show a liver imbalance, Sticky ones mean you have too much dampness in your body, rabbit droppings means your liver is congested, whilst thin, shreddy stools mean your colon is "screaming for help".
Cheap spicy foods available at festivals tend to resemble what you see get sucked out of the portaloos by the big vaccuum lorries afterwards. What you are left with is a pit of sloppy, ring-stinging oily poo and thick dark wee. I know from my own experience
that at festivals my stool is transformed from a well formed, obviously bran influenced log to a splattering of oily sludge which would probably stick to the bowl if I stuck around long enough to find out. A mix of liver imbalance and dampness I now know. Nothing to do with the torrent of drink and drug abuse. As anyone who has been to a commercial rock festival will know, the toilets provide probably the worst cocktail of bodily discharge available anywhere. So, before you go booking any tickets for Scandinavian rock festivals for next summer, consider the possibility of encountering a man who cares little for preventative health measures and social norms, a man who shuns traditional rock concert entertainment, preferring to get stuck into the remnants of the previous day, a man who wants your poo. Watchout.
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